I can't wait to go back to Uni....

Alright, feel free to say it - I'm mad

I feel like a hypocrite right now - I spend half my time complaining about how stressed out I am and how my lecturers have a hit list with my name on it hidden somewhere within the trench coats they keep in their wardrobes and only ever wear during their secret late night meetings in which they plan sinister synchronisation of assesments... *takes breath* and now I'm saying I want to go back!!

I'm mental

So what am I doing here at 10:00pm?

Alright, so it's not really that late... still I'm just about falling asleep so if this post is so utterly incoherent then ash mblag ergh...

*ahem*

So I haven't really been writting here very often hey... as one of my friends put it the other day "You must be feeling very relaxed... no blog posts for ages!"

And the odd thing is, I am actually relaxed! I've only got four assesments to go (one exam and three assignments) and the end is in sight! Hoorah!

Mum, as with everything, puts this new state of mind down to my new gluten freeness but I don't know that it's entirely the reason... but I think that may be a topic for another blog... oh yes, I actually have direction in this one :)

Tonight, instead of the usual bible study at Flo, we took a brief (too brief) look at the persecuted church. It was so humbling to hear about some of the things a Christian in the Sudan or Indonesia has to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

To give you an idea of the sorts of things we looked at, Christians in China are at risk of being arrested purely for hosting a home group in their homes. They are tortured and forced to give up names of the others in their group. In the Sudan, southern christians (there are none in the North as it's the muslim demographic) are displaced, forced to leave the country or enslaved by the jihad which is sponsored by the government. Oh and forced conversion to Islam is legal. In Indonesia, the largest muslim country by percentage in the world, churches are frequently attacked and destroyed along with the people...

The thing that struck me was that the most I have to deal with in my average day, is a brief flicker of a disgusted expression across someone's face the minute I mention Christianity. To think that the thought of someone not liking me terrifies me, I wonder what I'd do, faced with the possibility that I could be arrested or killed for the Bible...

I definitely take the fact that I live in a free country (don't scoff; no matter how bad IR laws are treating you, it's true.) and that we are free to believe what we want to. I need to be more thankful for the fact that the most persecution I have to deal with now is someone "christian-bashing" to my face or indirectly.

God is so good.

Nehoo, I'll get down off my soap box now and go and sleep... I have an exam on Friday....

:)

Fairy Bread and Evil background music...

Wow... I've really been neglecting this blog haven't I? For the record, I told myself that I wasn't going to be sucked in by the halo of procrastination surrounding this website but still... as my mum pointed out yesterday on the phone *note - to be read in an exasperated mother tone* "I've worked out how to get onto the thing and you haven't written anything since the holidays!"

And so, I've decided to dedicate this blog entry to you Mum... mainly because I reckon you're about the only one who reads this anyway (... the comment box is most definitely OPEN right now for people to prove that i'm really not that pathetic)

...

Love you Mum...

*ahem* So anyway... The last few weeks have been more than a little hectic... seriously, I have this mental image of all of my uni lecturers sitting around eating fairy bread (why? I have no idea) and brainstorming ways to torture the second year students who became way too complacent in first year. To help, I've drawn a little picture....

Hmmm... I'm not actually sure that you'll all be able to read that.... or get past my wonderfully craptastic stick figures but hey.... the point is that my lecturers are ev...

Well ok - I should probably mention here that I'll be the first to admit that they're actually very helpful people and only give us that workload because they think they're the only ones who are setting crazy lab reports (I had 6 due last week.... 6!!!!!). I think it just seems like they're all banding together and lets face it... exaggerating is always fun!

So really I think I'm my own worst enemy. Mainly because I'm sitting here blogging and drawing stick figure cartoons when I really should be finishing my lab reports... what can I say? When your mother tells you to jump you ask how high ;)

Watch this! You know you want to...

My friend sent this to me... I was a little skeptical at first but eventually it made me cry... see what you think :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_M0H5nrY8E

Handy tip number one: have tissues on stand-by

Just for funsies...

http://www.xkcd.com/

Heh - how great is that? Although how did she not notice he never called her by name? How awkward would that have been?

Procrastinating? Me? Never!

Current mood....

Wow...

http://play.blogger.com/

Check it out - it's a slide show of all the photos people are uploading on their blogs... sounds strange, but it's bizarrely captivating....

My new direction...

So I've been thinking pretty heavily over the last few months (*sighs* yes, my brain hurts) and I've come to a pretty sad, but also incredibly exciting conclusion...

...I'm saying sayonara to CSI-land...

For those of you who don't know, for the last two years I've been embroiled in the wonderful world of Forensics, studying a bachelor of applied chemistry (Hons) in Forensic Science. Basically it's a stress-filled rollercoaster of struggling to keep above a credit average in some seriously hard subjects while trying not to lash out and strangle something because of it...
So on Monday I finally decided it really wasn't worth it! To be honest, the only thing I could have seen myself doing with the degree was going into the police force, stuffing around for about 5 years just so I could work in serious crime. To me, it just seemed like a lot of hooplah for a lifetime of stress and paperwork.

Forensics is not at all like CSI... oh no... most of it is lab work or painstakingly combing a crime scene for a skin flake that could (but probably won't) link a suspect to a crime scene.
Sound frustrationg or what?

So anyway, the question has to be asked - What am I going to do now?

I'm switching to Applied Chemistry - the plan is to finish that next year and then do the post-grad secondary teaching course here at UTS... That's right - I'm going to be a High School Science teacher

Don't laugh - I'm serious!

It's been a bit of a strange year; I remember someone coming up to me in church one Sunday and asking me how my degree was going; "you're doing education right?"

Ah... no...

A number of people I know really well have come out with "you'd be great teacher joh" seemingly from nowhere, includeing my Mum who then proceeded to tell me about the "teaching gene" that (admittedly a little obviously) runs through our family...

I think perhaps God's trying to tell me something... and true to form I, being the stubborn berk that I am, have been trying to go the other way. But I've given in (finally) and let me tell you I don't think I've ever been quite as relieved as I am right now... I don't feel nearly as worried about the future as I was a week ago, I'm not feeling stressed out about my subjects (I actually want to study now... warped huh?) and I'm much, much, much more excited about my course! My new course director gave me a long list of electives he thought I'd enjoy and I feel a bit like a kid in a candy store! Heh...

So there's what I've been thinking... weird huh?

Stressed is just Desserts spelled backwards...

In my brief (hah!) stay in the realms of stress-land, I have come to a conclusion which I hope will;
(a) put my current state of mind into some sort of perspective and;
(b) help me procrastinate just a little bit more (because we all know that's fun!)
The Three Stages of Stress

• Mildly worried

This is the stage where things are beginning to pile up but that day on which three of your assignments are due is still relatively far away so it doesn't seem so bad...

• Stressed to the point of nervous breakdown

Alright so this is a bit of a jump and should, by rights, be the final stage... I thought it was as well until this week, but I'll get to that in a second... This is the point at which everything becomes just too overwhelming. Assignment D-Day is rapidly approaching and it's not looking like they're going to be done in time. Panic decends and all one really wants to do is curl up in a corner and stay there until it's all over. This stage is usually accompanied by emotional, teary calls to the one's mother who really can't do anything to help but can at least knock some sort of sense into your panic-clouded brain. Yep... this is where I was a few days ago...

• Stressed beyond the point of nervous breakdown

This, I have to say, is my current state of mind. I am beyond the point of caring about the fact that I'm stressed. So much so that I appear completely nonchalant and well-adjusted when really, if I stop to think about it, I'm even more panicked and jumpy than I was when I made that phone-call at 11:00pm... I mean, think about it; I have an exam today that I only began studying for last night and what am I doing? Blogging!

Actually, I told someone about my crazy week and the amount of work I had to do and he laughed at me when I said I was stressed beyond all reason... huh - go figure

And while the final stage may seem wonderful and a marked improvement on the second, let me tell youl; it's not. I think I'd rather be in blind panic than total apathy - at least I'd be a little more concerned about the work I need to get done...

*sigh*

It's at times like this that I am immensely thankful that I have a God I can lean on - it's so comforting to know that even if I stuff everything up, I'll still be a beloved child of God - nothing's going to change that. As Jesus said;

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

I'm supposed to be studying...

... So I'll make this blog my reward :)



... I'll be back...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



All right so I did a bit of studying... well I'm not sure if you could really call it studying - I was just doing some prelab work for Analytical Chem so it was definitely stuff I had to do... probably not study then... *sighs*



Ah well



Is it just me or is Uni out to get me? It's seriously killing all semblance of any sort of life I may have had... or have...



... random side note - ooo I love this song!...



*ahem*



Anyway... Uni, while fun and most certainly what I want to do, it REALLY hard right now. On top of everything I have going right now, I have a feeling I'm going to go completely mental by the mid-semesters... but that's going back into "negative-attitude-Joh" and that's not a good plan :)



Nehoo...



I think I've wasted enough time complaining about the fact that I have no time to do the work I need to so I think I'll get out of my "hypocrite" corner and go and do something constructive... hehe

Boredness and Jonah... I know it's an odd combination - work with me here :)

As you can probably tell; I'm bored. And it's not for lack of trying to find constructive things to do -it's because I went into Uni this morning only to find that the lab I thought I had to go to wasn't actually on in the first place... consequently, I wasted a morning... then came back home and wasted more time but with more of a sense of satisfaction...

...and if that made any sense to anyone, could you leave a comment and explain it to me?

Seriously though, it's been a while since I posted anything here and that's mainly because I've been away etc... I've just come back from SAN Getaway with CREDO - the AFES christian group at UTS.

For the noobs to the workings of CREDO - each faculty network has their own "Getaway" (it's basically a weekend away but in the middle of the week... hence "Getaway") and Science and Nursing decided to go to Katoomba again this year. We usually just spend time hanging out, reading the bible and praying together and listening to a few talks. This year's topic was Jonah.

...I never really realised it but Jonah, even though he was one of God's prohpets, wasn't really a very nice guy. He was really an arrogant jerk in many respects. Listen to this:

So [the sailors] asked him, "Tell us, who is responsible for making all this trouble for us? What do you do? Where do you come from? What is your country? From what people are you?" [Jonah] answered, "I am a Hebrew and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land." Jonah 1:8-9

Hah! Can you imagine just how small the sailors would have felt at that? Jonah basically stood up and told them how amazing he was because he was one of God's chosen people when he was in some serious trouble from said "God of heaven".

It's really sad but I can definitely remember some times where I've felt superior to non-christians and have acted like I knew it. Hopefully, purely by the awesome grace of God, I've grown out of that (although perhaps by saying something like that I've just proved that I haven't... hmm). From a non-christian's point of view I can really see how that sort of behaviour would be a huge turn off.

It reminds me of a passage in Proverbs -

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is
wise." Proverbs 10:19

Perhaps when thoughts like Jonah's cross our minds, it would be better for all
concerned to just not say anything... heh - easier said than done for someone
who feels they have to fill the smallest silence...

I suffer from "foot-in-mouth" disease...

On a lighter note, Melinda and I decided one day to hijack Jess's Larry beanie baby thingo... here are some of the photos we took... enjoy :)

Home!

It's funny, but you never really appreciate what you have until it's gone...



And as cliche as that sounds, it's true!



I'm currently sitting at the computer in my parent's house *side note - wow this keyboard is awesome!*, waiting for tiredness to set in so I can go to sleep in order to prepare for the invasion tomorrow... and I think it would have been easier for one and all if I had stuck with "my friends are coming over"



Now don't get me wrong - this is not, in fact, a bad thing. I'm really looking forward to being able to introduce my friends to my family, it's just that there's an awful lot of them descending on my house.



And to my parents' credit they haven't batted an eyelid; Mum was actually preparing what to cook for dinner the moment I asked her if it was ok for seven people to eat at our place... only four are staying the night so I think she was cool with the compromise... hehe



This sort of thing doesn't happen often. I don't know if it's got something to do with the fact that I don't come home much because I have a crazily busy schedule or what, but they never give me the old "*sniff* you don't love us anymore..." guilt trip. Not once.



And the minute I decide to come home, I bring an army...



... or ask for money... because I am a poor uni student still dependent on her parents... *Sighs*



But they don't mind.



I think I take that for granted sometimes.



It's amazing to think that God would bless someone like me with such a wonderful family when there are so many more people out there who would deserve it much more than I do. It's funny but I never really realised how much I loved them (and I think present tense should have been used there but it didn't make sense... so pretend...) until I moved out. (Go the 11:00pm stress bucket sessions... heh)


*sniff* alright, now I'm homesick...


*sigh*

Bored Bored Bored...

As you can see... I'm bored...

I think I've completely exhausted my list of things to do as well - I've tidied my room, done three loads of washing, gone shopping, bought all sorts of useful things like shampoo and yougurt snacks (and yes, i know I'm supposed to be lactose intolerant but as we should have guessed by now I am quite possibly the worst lactose intolerant person around... *sigh*), plus I even went in and introduced myself to my new manager at work.

...and now I have nothing to do...

...well actually I can think of a few things to do but that would defeat the purpose of this blog... so I'm not going to do them for now... hehe

Isn't it funny how we complain about all the things we have to do when we have to do them *pauses and considers sentence structure... eh, it'll do* and then once we have nothing to do we wish we had... the things we had to do before... to do... again... *grins*

Perhaps taking more English-style courses at Uni should go on my "to do" list.

That and convincing James that putting his scarf inside my ugg boot is not "violating" it...

Oh and teaching myself to juggle...

...and to play harmonica...

hehe

Study Camp '07!

Well, as promised, I thought I'd write down some thoughts and experiences from last week...

... and I also promise I'll try not to make this sound too corny although as the first sentence seems to suggest, that could be a little tricky...

Anyway...

Last week, me and a group of others from CREDO, Wollongong Uni and Moore College, went to Port Hacking for an HSC study camp... and no I was not studying... I was helping other people study (I'm not that much of a nerd... really)

The basic Premise of the Anglican Youthworks Study Camps is to... well study really. But they also run Bible-based talks and discussion groups. Paul, our speaker, decided to go through Ephesians which raised alot of really good questions and disscussions.

It was such a privelage to be able to share the gospel with "kids" (hehe - they got so offended when we called them that - we had to explain that it's more of a term of endearment than anything else... so funny) who probably didn't have much of a chance to hear it before camp and it was so encouraging to see them so open to asking questions.

Most of all, I was encouraged by the leaders on the camp - they were an amazing bunch of christian men and women! Kudos to Kat DC and Paul for handling some of the tricky situations with such God- given patience and kindness! It was so great to see!

Leaving camp, I was struck by what can only be described as "post camp blues".

I got home and sat on the edge of my bed and just felt... well sad really. I hadn't wanted to leave! I think it's a sign of a great camp more than anything - I got the same feeling after ETC.

*Sigh*

Anyway, I'm off to go and tackle that room worm into submission... if I don't make it, Amy, you can have all my CD's.

hehe

My first post! (Batteries not included)

So I decided instead of posting the muddled up randomness I like to call a blog on myspace, I'd set up something new and different... something else I can procrastinate on.

Because we all know that's fun...

That and I now have two weeks where I'm going to have nothing to do except read, watch movies and... *sighs*... tidy my room... Seriously, I'm sure there's some yet-to-be discovered species of "room-worm" lurking somewhere in the depths of the very nearly waist high mess that's littering my floor right now...

You know it's getting slightly ridiculous when you have to take a running leap to get to your bed.

Anyway, that's all from me for now. I'll be back soon though with another essay on the amazing week I've just had :D

See you!