Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
...I'm saying sayonara to CSI-land...
For those of you who don't know, for the last two years I've been embroiled in the wonderful world of Forensics, studying a bachelor of applied chemistry (Hons) in Forensic Science. Basically it's a stress-filled rollercoaster of struggling to keep above a credit average in some seriously hard subjects while trying not to lash out and strangle something because of it...
So on Monday I finally decided it really wasn't worth it! To be honest, the only thing I could have seen myself doing with the degree was going into the police force, stuffing around for about 5 years just so I could work in serious crime. To me, it just seemed like a lot of hooplah for a lifetime of stress and paperwork.
Forensics is not at all like CSI... oh no... most of it is lab work or painstakingly combing a crime scene for a skin flake that could (but probably won't) link a suspect to a crime scene.
Sound frustrationg or what?
So anyway, the question has to be asked - What am I going to do now?
I'm switching to Applied Chemistry - the plan is to finish that next year and then do the post-grad secondary teaching course here at UTS... That's right - I'm going to be a High School Science teacher
Don't laugh - I'm serious!
It's been a bit of a strange year; I remember someone coming up to me in church one Sunday and asking me how my degree was going; "you're doing education right?"
A number of people I know really well have come out with "you'd be great teacher joh" seemingly from nowhere, includeing my Mum who then proceeded to tell me about the "teaching gene" that (admittedly a little obviously) runs through our family...
I think perhaps God's trying to tell me something... and true to form I, being the stubborn berk that I am, have been trying to go the other way. But I've given in (finally) and let me tell you I don't think I've ever been quite as relieved as I am right now... I don't feel nearly as worried about the future as I was a week ago, I'm not feeling stressed out about my subjects (I actually want to study now... warped huh?) and I'm much, much, much more excited about my course! My new course director gave me a long list of electives he thought I'd enjoy and I feel a bit like a kid in a candy store! Heh...
So there's what I've been thinking... weird huh?
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
(a) put my current state of mind into some sort of perspective and;
(b) help me procrastinate just a little bit more (because we all know that's fun!)
The Three Stages of Stress
- Mildly worried
This is the stage where things are beginning to pile up but that day on which three of your assignments are due is still relatively far away so it doesn't seem so bad...
- Stressed to the point of nervous breakdown
Alright so this is a bit of a jump and should, by rights, be the final stage... I thought it was as well until this week, but I'll get to that in a second... This is the point at which everything becomes just too overwhelming. Assignment D-Day is rapidly approaching and it's not looking like they're going to be done in time. Panic decends and all one really wants to do is curl up in a corner and stay there until it's all over. This stage is usually accompanied by emotional, teary calls to the one's mother who really can't do anything to help but can at least knock some sort of sense into your panic-clouded brain. Yep... this is where I was a few days ago...
- Stressed beyond the point of nervous breakdown
This, I have to say, is my current state of mind. I am beyond the point of caring about the fact that I'm stressed. So much so that I appear completely nonchalant and well-adjusted when really, if I stop to think about it, I'm even more panicked and jumpy than I was when I made that phone-call at 11:00pm... I mean, think about it; I have an exam today that I only began studying for last night and what am I doing? Blogging!
Actually, I told someone about my crazy week and the amount of work I had to do and he laughed at me when I said I was stressed beyond all reason... huh - go figure
And while the final stage may seem wonderful and a marked improvement on the second, let me tell youl; it's not. I think I'd rather be in blind panic than total apathy - at least I'd be a little more concerned about the work I need to get done...
It's at times like this that I am immensely thankful that I have a God I can lean on - it's so comforting to know that even if I stuff everything up, I'll still be a beloved child of God - nothing's going to change that. As Jesus said;
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?